i don't even know why i try anymore to think that anyone could potenially like me in a way other than a friend. there are no signs and symbols, didn't i learn that in class? then why am i sitting here thinking about them, analyzing every sign, every little thing that comes into my mind. you really can't believe anything that you see these days. i'm not sure that i do . My binder sits there in the corner of the room taunting me, do you dare do you dare....
why the f am i even thinking about this- i should have known better. i should have. i guess that's what happens to girls who wear their hearts on their sleeves. things can spill easily, and things can stain, especially when you wear white. things aren't very teenager"ish" anymore, they are just dull and nothing is unexpected.
I still enjoy being in a place that is not my room but i can't keep it up this much longer. it is almost time for a new day and i am not ready.. .... a new week. myself hoping so hard and practicing in my head often and not able to stummer a word save sarcasm and ignorance. the ghost of the hallway and stairway visit me frequently and leave me post in notes in neon blue and magenta.
can we just play this song on repeat...until we die? i have never heard so much longing in a song. and i can't help but feeling raptured in ever ounce of it...
are you sad things didn't go your way. are you dissapointed in yourself? are you strong? can you tell someone how you feel when you are not sure it will be reciprocated? are you waiting all the time for the day to end? are you putting all your eggs in one basket, ....again? Because you are so good at it. i thought things used to be so deep and powerful once but i don't think so anymore.
despite everything that i used to cover things up.....cute things, fluffy things.....i also like things very opposite. i don't know what to make of this.
No comments:
Post a Comment